Everyday you wake up and she’s the first thing on your mind
And there’s nothing you can do about it.
No matter how vigorously you attempt to escape
Your feelings betray you.
As the delusions rot away within your soul
You become a prisoner of your own regrets.
Jealousy seethes to the surface
Despite lingering in the shadows of your own mind.
For those who do not receive proper closure
Insanity eats them alive like a virus.
The dreams of happiness between the two of you
Die a slow and painful death.
Conscious knowledge that there will never be love exists
As the trust in others has been eliminated.
All that remains of your being
Is an empty shell devoid of emotion and love.
Trapped in a coffin of doom
As she unknowingly buries you alive.
Those close to you can no longer tell
Once the transformation is completed.
Acknowledging permanent isolation is a necessity
Which results in walking the Earth as a living corpse.
Perhaps the key to freedom
Is through the contemplation of controlling your death
Is there really any difference between Life and Hell?
This is one of the most depressing posts I’ve ever read! No offence dude, but you need to look on the bright side of life. I know what its like to like someone, perhaps love them, but not have those feelings reciprocated. It does hurt, but you have to move on. Life != Hell (in PHP speak! :D). There are some great things in life, and there’s more to life than worrying about some woman - there are plenty more fish in the sea and sooner or later, you’re bound to meet someone that makes you happy and does reciprocate your feelings.
P.S.:
1) It can be hard to notice other women when you are still hung up on someone - getting over it can really open up a whole range of opportunities.
2) Women generally don’t find depressed men that attractive! Lol. If you pick yourself back up, then your more likely to get the attention of others.
Dan
Not a big fan of my dark poetry Dan?
Although in my defense, this isn’t actually how I feel, I was just thinking of the horrible pain I felt and took it to the extreme, through the poetry. I was more concerned with painting a picture of gloom for my readers, rather than just jotting down spur of the moment depression.
Also, this post was sitting in my drafts bin for a few months or so, I just decided to publish it now, it seemed like a good time, exactly one year after I stopped talking to her (Yeah, I know I’m crazy
).
I’m glad this isn’t how you feel now then
Time is a great healer.
So is writing
Honestly, I don’t know how I’d feel if I didn’t have my blog to let all my thoughts out.
It really kind of sucks how my first love for someone turned out this way. Which in turn sets up the way I’m going to view all women in general, and remaining powerless to change the way I perceive the rest of my future interactions with women.
The strange thing is that I can’t control when I feel the way I do, and believe me if I could somehow forget I ever met her or have any memory of her in my mind in general, I would.