Want to promote your arrogance? Here’s a few sample phrases I use to agitate people I know; mostly my own family, just for some good fun. I came up with them myself, there was no Google searching or eavesdropping on other conversations of any kind. I’ve used them for awhile though…
Someone might use the following line against you after you correctly prove them wrong against something (usually they’re more skilled on the subject matter):
You must know everything. Oh, I forgot that you are the smartest person in the world.
To which I would reply with:
I don’t know everything. I just know more than you.
This will promote the idea that, while you’re not omniscient, you still have a great deal of intelligence; much more than anyone in the same zip code as yourself. Plus the person questioning your authority will feel like an idiot.
Another common phrase being thrown around probably includes something along the lines of:
Oh My God! Why are you doing that?
Or:
God Dammit James! Do it right next time.
In one of these instances, I will respond with the following:
I’m not a God, even though you may worship me.
The antagonizer using these particular set of lines against you usually refers to the word “God” in some manner. When that happens, is the time for you to make a snappy comeback and bring worshiping into the conversation. Who knows, the person you’re talking to may even bow before you on their knees!
Lastly, someone close to you may say something along the lines of:
Please pick up that item for me. (They point to the object, usually on the floor)
To which I reply with:
Where? Right here? (Making grabby motions right in front of their finger.)
This is probably the most annoying reply you could give someone who’s asking for help or ordering you around, cleaning up and such. Pretending to not know where exactly the object to picked up is can be really agitating to the bosser, given that you don’t really know what exactly they want picked up, as they didn’t specify. There’s a vast potential of items in the distance between their fingertip and the actual object they desire in their possession.
I use these comebacks all the time, and I must say so myself, they’re pretty clever!
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