If you haven’t noticed, blogs and other community-oriented websites (this one being a fringe example) become bombarded with this form of ignorance every single day. On average, I’ll read about ten to fifteen topics a day from clueless people that more or less destroy the IQ of whomever is viewing their messages.

If you’re going to make a post on a forum somewhere, or especially if you’re going to write a comment on this website, adhere to the following tips precisely!

Do Proper Research First

One of the most common forms of online amentia is the dumbass question asker:

Hi Frnds! What is the best way to become popular?

What is a backlink? Can u plz advise me 2 get site in top 10 of Google?

If you’re going to log on to a website and start creating topics that ask very basic questions that a monkey could string together, don’t even bother. Find something more productive to do with your time, like re-reading your third grade text books.

What should you do if you’re in the group that has to put up with this crap? Direct these lazy ass bums to a tool that they can actually use to find an answer (and quit wasting everyone else’s time), a reliable Search Engine!

Titles are Everything

Every now and then I’ll see a subject heading somewhere along the lines of:

Is this Possible in any form?

How to do this?

HELP! I don’t know what to do!

Question: What do all these titles have in common? Answer: They’re stupid and provide as little information as possible!

Do you really think we know what you mean when you ask something like “What is wrong with my webpage?”? Sure, you and those closest to you may be able to decipher the general question, but for those of us that don’t have telepathic powers, do us a favor and either A) specifically tell us what the problem is; or B) shut the fuck up.

Bottom line? Write a descriptive title that intelligent people can actually interpret and return information to you as quickly as possible. You think I enjoy playing Twenty Questions with you? I’m not going to waste my time, I’ve got better things to do.

Don’t Use Fancy Styling

If you’re one of those dipshits whom likes to post in different fonts, colors, and sizes, you will only succeed at one thing, pissing me off. Save the blue, tiny, Italian style micro-fonts for your traffic-less, diary blog that no one reads, not everyone has binocular vision.

The worst of these offenders is probably the semi right-wing Bible-quoter. (And I use the term “semi” in the context that the idiot can’t make up his mind on what the hell he’s talking about, however the same could be said about all politically minded individuals.) These verse-hounding loonies love to preach on and on about ‘God loves you, 8:16′ and ‘Matthew 2:14 says something else’ and other extreme, random Christian bullshit, even when the topic has nothing to do with religion. If you just happen to fall under the category of “Bible Bitch”, do the world a favor and seal away your thoughts tighter than a peanut butter jar at a squirrel convention.

Don’t Quote Wikipedia as a Primary Source of Information

Every once in a while I’ll stumble across the odd post where some asshole decides he’ll be clever and rely upon the fountain of misinformation that is Prickipedia for proper fact-checking. All I can do is laugh in their face and give them a swift kick in the ass towards the right direction.

How people can trust a source that is editable by ANYONE is beyond logical comprehension. Someone once wrote that Joesph Stalin actually went through a “homosexual experimentation stage” in college and that the Earth’s Moon was composed entirely of cheese (I wish I were making this stuff up). The ridiculousness doesn’t stop there however, the encyclopedia (I use that term loosely) currently contains pointless articles such as Nazi UFOs and Whale Explosions. Unbelievable.

Write using a clear, proper, and concise approach

Hey DUDE!

Hv U herd the newz??? Do U thnk dey shud hv du dat? lol @ y this iz happinin. i h8 those fagz,dat tink their rulin of the wurld!!! How mny of dem bitchz,like to suk dik? Srsly, wut u thin shud be dun bout dis mess, Ya no???

i’m from China
i wnt to make friends wiv u
thank you
my msn:imamoron@aol.com

You wouldn’t believe how many messages and emails I’ve seen that follow this line of syntax. If the grammar and capitalization mistakes don’t scare you, the misspellings and lack of vowels certainly will.

The Mount Everest of the world that is Instant Messaging Crap, is without a doubt spelling the word “You” as “U” (not to be confused with equally inane “your / you’re” mistakes). If you’re too much of a lazy ass dolt that making TWO EXTRA KEYSTROKES places extensive strain on your fingers, then you probably shouldn’t be using a computer at all! Sell the machine before it gives you a brain aneurysm.

I don’t even bother with many of the comments I read here on THIS website. I grow tired of pissing away time attempting to decrypt the ‘txt spk’ contained within every other message I have the misfortune of viewing.

These are the same sorts of people that type in all caps, write huge blobs of text (break up that paragraph for readability reasons, fool), and can’t even be bothered to properly punctuate a paragraph. Maybe you should have actually paid attention during English class instead of yammering on with your classmates about who’s going out with whom, and whom got laid last night, bitch.

Seriously, do you people even consider what you’ve typed into the textarea before clicking that “Add Comment” button?

Don’t Copy and Paste

If you actually gave two-shits about the place you were posting to, you wouldn’t spam them with duplicate articles and misinformation.

Don’t act like a Crybaby Loser

If someone doesn’t reply to your inquiry, it’s not that we think you’re an idiot (well, that’s an entirely different matter), but members might not know the answer you’re seeking right away, not everyone is a walking encyclopedia of problem solving.

The odds of you screwing up and STILL making one of these mistakes are roughly about ten thousand to one, so here’s the steps you should take:

1. Get Over It.

If you don’t enjoy the replies you get on a certain site, or you’ve got tough issues you absolutely must hammer out and debate on, you can always find somewhere else to hang out. If that option doesn’t do it for you, don’t forget you can always feel free to get bent.

Someone might use the following line against you after you correctly prove them wrong against something (usually they’re more skilled on the subject matter):

You must know everything. Oh, I forgot that you are the smartest person in the world.

To which I would reply with:

I don’t know everything. I just know more than you.

This will promote the idea that, while you’re not omniscient, you still have a great deal of intelligence; much more than anyone in the same zip code as yourself. Plus the person questioning your authority will feel like an idiot.

Another common phrase being thrown around probably includes something along the lines of:

Oh My God! Why are you doing that?

Or:

God Dammit James! Do it right next time.

In one of these instances, I will respond with the following:

I’m not a God, even though you may worship me.

The antagonizer using these particular set of lines against you usually refers to the word “God” in some manner. When that happens, is the time for you to make a snappy comeback and bring worshiping into the conversation. Who knows, the person you’re talking to may even bow before you on their knees!

Lastly, someone close to you may say something along the lines of:

Please pick up that item for me. (They point to the object, usually on the floor)

To which I reply with:

Where? Right here? (Making grabby motions right in front of their finger.)

This is probably the most annoying reply you could give someone who’s asking for help or ordering you around, cleaning up and such. Pretending to not know where exactly the object to picked up is can be really agitating to the bosser, given that you don’t really know what exactly they want picked up, as they didn’t specify. There’s a vast potential of items in the distance between their fingertip and the actual object they desire in their possession.

I use these comebacks all the time, and I must say so myself, they’re pretty clever!

Ever since the turn of the millennium, all we’ve had playing on the radio is crap music like Britney Spears, Simple Plan, or the new Rap and Hip-Hop Genres, where all they sing about is killing their mothers, bitches this and hoes that. When was the last time we’ve had bands following in the veins of greats like Metallica, Pink Floyd, or even as far back as the Beatles?

Commercialized music this past decade is probably best described as decrepit aural garbage that makes you glad you have your music player’s volume on the highest interval so it showers you with a curtain of deafness over your ears which in-turn offers solace from the everyday bullshit ambiance society has come to known as modern-day “Music”.

Then there’s the kids who think that by dressing up as and acting like their favorite music idols somehow provides them with a heightened sense of significance and worth. You’ve probably seen them at your local mall, or movie theater, they’re the same ones who can’t stop bitching about how their “totally uncool” parents won’t let them have a sleepover, despite the fact they obviously have some freedom given by their parents (hence their presence in public places with their peers).

You’re not a 21 year old, skanked-up slut who’s just discovered what PMS is. Find a new role model.

And you’re not rebellious, hip, nor does “Look at me, I talk as though I’m unfamiliar with third grade grammar, and walk as if I was born with Cerebral Palsy” properly describe your attitude enough. Just stop, dumbass.

A New Music Revolution?

I think it’s about time we’ve had one. The Music Industry has become too commercialized these days, only concerning themselves with earning profits and culturalizing our youth into their predefined sense of what’s “cool” or not. I cannot think of a single extraordinary artist or song that has been released over the past few years.

The only way I see this happening is if either A) Consumers stop purchasing the fecal-smelling, aural noise the that passes for music these days, thus causing the Music Industry Advertisers and Businessmen to take their heads out of their asses and reevaluate their marketing strategies. Or B) People take a stand against the record labels and radio stations, and demand to hear the music that they’ll actually enjoy listening to in the car ride home, and doesn’t sound like crap.

I don’t understand why there hasn’t been one yet. Don’t executives realize it’s a win-win situation? Not only do we get tons of great options to choose from, but all the great albums and singles would lead to larger profits for the Music industrialists. Just bury the crap that’s on store shelves and bring the heart and soul back to the recording studio, it’s not that hard to do. There’s probably tons of no-name artists out there with 100 times more talent than this mainstream bullshit.

Aren’t there any Positives?

Admittedly though, there are a few good listens, but they’re nowhere near the frequency as past decades. Just take a listen to the Classical Performance group “Gregorian” for example. While they are a cover group, they still perform some spectacular renditions of classical rock songs. My favorites are Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters, R.E.M.’s Losing My Religion, and their personal best, in my opinion, is their remake of the Phil Collins hit In the Air Tonight.

Then there’s always the music that isn’t necessarily held in the same light as vocal and choral renditions. The Video Game’s Music Industry is exactly what I am thinking about here, with the Halo 3 Soundtrack at the genre’s focal point. If you haven’t heard it yet, you don’t know what you’re missing out on.

Sometimes you have to open your mind and consider trying new genres to listen to. That is of course, as long as you’re not a socially insecure, “what-will-my-peers-think-of-me”, pansy-ass bitch.

Technology

How did I find this great music, you ask?

Not only can it be a pain in the ass searching for alternative music (online or offline), but chances are you won’t find what you’re looking for in the stores like Best Buy or on iTunes. I probably spent an hour digging through hundreds of CDs hoping I “might” come across what I’m looking for. But to my surprise (sarcasm), the albums were nowhere to be found. Nice selection of Music to choose from, dipshits.

Thankfully the Audio Search Engine Mp3gle exists, they truly are the Google of Music and Audio. I was able to find rare songs instantaneously using their technology. It linked directly to the audio files too, so you could listen to the files from various websites right then and there, no pussyfooting around with finding each individual website which only has one good song on embedded within it. The internet can be a great tool if you know how to use it properly.

Does all the mainstream horse manure still appeal to you?

When the MTV Crowd and the people who fund them (aka greedy corporate bastards) finally wake up, maybe there’ll be a shred of decency brought upon this dying art form. Here’s an experiment to try, just ask any rapper or pop-wannabe if they can name one “instrumental” in their respective genre. Don’t be surprised if they stare back for awhile and their only response contains a blank expression on their face.

At least no matter what the outcome is in the end, we still have our own favorite musical preferences from the past and present that we can listen to and enjoy whenever we wish, right? Oh, wait.

Let me start off by saying however, I was NOT apart of the “popular crowd”. However, I wasn’t a part of the “geek crowd” either, as a matter of fact, I wasn’t apart of ANY crowd, I was just ME. I never cared to become, or even attempted at reaching a level of popularity at that time in my life, I had the wisdom and the foresight to realize that no matter how popular one may become, it doesn’t mean squat in the real world.

Buuuuuut…………..

The social status is certainly achievable, and with a little manipulation, it is definitely possible to reach this position yourself. This is how I would have done it if I actually *did* care about becoming popular.

While it may be true that trends and fads change over time, and every high school throughout the world is different (I’ll be the first here to admit that I don’t know what the international school levels are, so I’m speaking from the American perspective.), the foundations of the plan undoubtedly remains the same.

First Step: Know the Playing Fields and Understand the Collective Groups of Peers

This is crucial, without knowledge of your peers and your high school settings, you’ll get nowhere. The guide I’m writing here won’t turn you into a popular student overnight, it will take proper planning and a few weeks (or months, depending on your current status) of scoping the and analyzing your potential strategies.

The first investigation involves the various groups available. Recognize your targets and make sure no one suspects your reconnaissance work:

1. The Jocks = Athletic, always discussing last night’s game with their fellow teammates and coaches, are often intimidating
2. The Social Butterflies = Always talking, making friends with just about anyone, and attend every social event the school offers
3. The Intelligent Ones (Non-Nerds) = Eloquent within their academic circle, yet smart enough not to associate themselves with the outcasts of the system
4. Other = Any other group that may be known either specifically to your school region or may have been ‘missing’ from this list

Step Two: Choose A Group and Plan

After an adequate amount of time has passed, the time comes where you have to choose a group and formulate a covert strategy.

TIP: Be sure you Pick a Group You Can Be Good At! You know you don’t belong in the athletic group if you only weigh 85 pounds and can’t even complete the mile run.

Some ideas to keep in mind as you develop your plan include:

• Start off small. You don’t want to rush into crazy events such as mooning everyone at the next pep rally or something similar. You’ll give your position away too early.
• Don’t hold back. This roller coaster ride of a plan will involve making friendships, destroying hearts, betrayal, and even subtle manipulation of events. The inevitability of the lack of emotional distraught means it would be wise to train yourself both physically and psychologically, and not grow too attached to any specific person or peer group.
• Be sure to cover all your bases. Missions rarely go according to the written game plan, so it is of the utmost importance that you have every possible angle covered, the shifting of original steps on the spot, and the calculation of every precise point in your overall strategy as you plan to dominate the battlefield of High School.

Next Step: When you feel Ready and Confident Enough, Craft and Execute your Plan

After careful timing and consideration, the time comes to set your ultimate goal in motion.

Remember, most teenagers are easy to manipulate, not the kids themselves exactly, but ranking highly among the social hierarchy of the school shouldn’t be too difficult of a task. Just about every school has one, and be aware that you are going to have rivals.

Don’t backstab your competitors immediately, it is important to have allies and improvising tactical advances in the Art of War is a necessity. You will get nowhere in this field of combat if you decide to go at it entirely alone.

The Fourth Step: Earn some Thought Out and / or Crazy “Popularity Points”

Popularity Points (PP) can be useful to raise your awareness of your current status during the school year. While these spcific numbers aren’t set in stone, they don’t apply everywhere, as specific groups require different point values. So use these approximate numbers to your advantage, where 0 PP means you’re the biggest loser on campus, and 100 PP means you’re Ruler of the High School:

• 2 PP = Earn an after-school detention, Attend the Pep Rally, Crack a witty joke in front of a crowd (+1 if during a class)
• 5 PP = Get a date and / or enter a relationship ( +5 if they’re at least somewhat popular), Start a fight, Score the winning point(s) at the end of the game in your respective sport
• 10 PP = Receive straight A’s for a whole year, Purchase and show off an automobile, Host a party at your home (-5 if your parents catch you)
• 25 PP = Win a prestigious title such as Homecoming King (or Queen), Win a Sports Championship, Sleep with a teacher
• -5 PP = Act like a pussy and back away from a challenge, break down in the middle of the hall, join the chess team or computer club

If you suck at mathematics, don’t use the above system I laid out, instead follow the guidelines, but go with your gut (or better yet, don’t even attempt to become popular, you can’t get to the top without knowing a little math).

It is also important to NOT repeat each point-earner. Spread out where you decide to earn points. Some people might find it a tad suspicious if you enter twenty relationships throughout the year, they’ll perceive you as a slut.

And the Final Step: Remain at the top until you no longer wish to

(If you haven’t obtained at least 100 PP in one year, go back to step four and try again.)

Now you’ve done it, you’ve climbed to the top the social mountain, congratulations!

Is it everything you’ve expected it to be? Are you truly happy with your current status as Champion of your High School?

Perhaps it becomes boring at the top, you may feel lonely up there, or there’s just too much attention for you to handle; whatever the reason is, bow out with grace. It is very easy to lose your status on top of the ladder, and difficult to regain that special status.

Whether you are happy at the top or not, as one final piece of advice, remember just how much this means to yourself and your friends (and just how much the rest of the world actually cares about it).

Here’s my list of reasons to avoid love at all costs. Make sure you take my points to heart before it’s too late and you fall into the same trap, else just try to be more careful in the future. This could apply to people that have already fell for someone in particular, but moreso for those who are confused and don’t know where to begin.

Of course this blog post is written from my own perspective, so for women, do the gender math.

9. Premature Attachment is Unhealthy

Assuming too much about someone is definitely not a good thing, mentally nor emotionally. It is very easy to build up the image of the perfect woman in your head right in the beginning, only later to come to the realization that she never even took an interest in you in the slightest sense.

Sure, you may enjoy the brief moments in the day that you spend together, but the fantasies of everything begin to take over and you’re left wishing you never met the person.

Signs such as exchanging email addresses, leaning on each other, and staring into each others’ eyes do NOT mean that she is interested in you.

This is something I’d highly recommend to avoid, you do not want to enter into this dilemma. It is possible to take mental damage and lose focus on other important things in your life if you choose to admire someone in the early stages of getting to know them better.

8. Differing Lifestyles

There are some qualities about people that just aren’t ideal in the eyes of potential life partners. I think that in time, people decide to adjust themselves to their partners annoyances, however why change your preferences for her?

For example while she may have a habit of smoking, which you might initially find disgusting, you may come to like that quality in her, even though it’s bad for your health. Or perhaps she’s a vegetarian and addicted to tacos for some crazy reason, and you’re not the biggest fan of them. This doesn’t mean you don’t approve of or are repulsed by them, but the fact remains that it’s nothing special to you.

If you’re unlucky enough to already know the person you have a crush on and already know to a degree how they live their life, try this exercise to help yourself get over them. Just write down a list of all the varying life choices between you two, and compare them to things you dislike. This way, pinpointing these specific qualities in that person will trigger a psychological repulsion the next time you catch yourself thinking about her, trust me, it will happen a lot if you were in a similar situation as mine.

7. A New Measuring Stick is created

Now that you’ve noticed how beautiful her eyes are, how great her long, flourishing hair is, and the fact that she has the most beautiful smile in the world (among a variety of other things), it’s going to be difficult to forget about those qualities. Since falling for someone quite often illuminates these features of them, it’s virtually impossible to look at another in the same light.

Everything you’ve noticed about that particular woman is now something you subconsciously look for in the next woman, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. And 99.9% of the time, those women don’t measure up to the standards that you are looking for in a life partner.

This is probably a supreme killer when it comes to the dating world. Not only will one particular woman always be on your mind, but single women that may express an interest in you will go by completely unnoticed on your radar.

Plus, some women may even be repulsed by your behavior, whether you or they realize it consciously or not. It isn’t exactly an appealing turn-on when you are fawning over someone you know you can’t be with. So remember that when falling for someone, she becomes the measuring stick to which you compare every other woman you meet, which isn’t exactly the greatest mindset to give yourself.

6. Physical Appearances and Attractions change

As beautiful as your partner may look when you first meet, that appearance won’t remain. Over time her looks will deteriorate and her body will age, there’s nothing you can do about it.

Not to mention that married women in their late 30′s and 40′s grow bored with their sex lives, we’ve all seen the show “Desperate Housewives”, right? (OK, let me admit here that I’ve only seen the show twice, I don’t watch it on a regular basis or anything like that, and I’m NOT a fan of the show).

Furthermore, some people’s attractions change over time. It’s definitely possible that one year she’ll be fond of the way you dress through clothes that you wear, then the next she won’t give a rat’s ass about it and only worry about your financial situation together.

Some women probably let their looks go once they tie the knot. They’re thinking “Hey, now that I’m married, I no longer have to impress anyone with an attractive body or a great hairstyle”.

5. You’ll never have complete honesty

Although outright deceptions aren’t as common, they’re probably unhealthy for everyone. Not to mention other forms of white lies also exist.

For example, I was watching that “Moment of Truth” show on FOX, and this woman had been married for 10+ years to her husband, and it was revealed that she kept secrets from him that could potentially destroy their marriage. Questions like “Did you invite former lovers to your wedding?” or “Have you ever fantasized about sleeping with a co-worker?” prove that no one is exempt from the veils of deceit.

This is all besides the usual “Does this make me look fat?” questions you’d be sure to become bombarded with. And guys get screwed because either way, it’s a response she won’t want to hear.

4. You’ll retain complete control of your life

Once you make the decision that it’s just not worth seeking someone to love and make happy, tremendous burdens are lifted.

When you decide not to walk the path of love and commitment, everything you choose to do in your life is up to you. No compromising necessary, no forced approval, no attending undertaken events your prospective girlfriend would want.

Dinner, entertainment, and Shopping are all on the list of things couples do together. And they all require money to operate successfully. In most relationships, it can be assumed that these decisions are made jointly, thus taking away your personal freedom in how you want to live your life.

While you may not want to change your attitude towards her and you’re just waiting for the chance to impress the object of your affection, you just have to stop looking at the glass as half empty, no matter how hard it is to do.

3. She’s probably already seeing someone else

No matter how close someone may seem to get to you, they’ll mask their feelings well. Many of the manipulative females out there probably won’t tell you they’re seeing someone because they’re getting the best of both worlds. She’ll get to have a wonderful relationship and great sex with her boyfriend while dumping family problems on you and using you for schoolwork or something, among other things.

And at the same time, experiencing those great emotions with someone else while leaving you left in the dust. Feeling used and betrayed on some level or another, you begin to wonder what happened with everything. Maybe you screwed up while someone else just swooped in and crushed your dreams, or if he was already apart of her life and you just misevaluated the situation from the beginning.

Then you may start to ask yourself questions like “Why in the world is she attracted to him?” or “What does he do for her that I couldn’t?”, even though at the same time you know deep down it’s technically unfair to raise those points when you don’t know her boyfriend. Jealousy can be a powerful emotion that can make people go insane over mundane issues.

Regrettably for first timers, this can also trigger a sense of paranoia. Now that the person you first loved is gone and never felt anything for you in particular, you won’t be able to clearly perceive whether other women may take an interest, as thoughts like “This woman seems nice, but she’s probably taken” or even “Despite the fact she’s smiling and flirting with me, I don’t believe she’s attracted, as this has happened to me before, and I feel I got screwed over for thinking this way”, as there’s no one to compare them to.

2. Thinking about an Unrequited Crush all the time can lead you into a Depression

Maybe it’s just a brief moment of heartache, or there’s ages of experiencing misery, either way you’ll waste hours upon hours dreaming of a perfect scenario that will never happen.

You may come to a personal conclusion that you keep thinking about her day after day after day, and she’s just not going away, despite the fact you want to forget about her. Sometimes it’s best to cut off all contact with her allow yourself to move on, it may not be an enjoyable moment to initiate, but it is necessary for healing purposes.

Action and keeping yourself busy will help take your mind off of her. Depression can come in many forms, but this particular type is, for the most part, is difficult to cure, as it doesn’t directly relate to a chemical imbalance in the brain, but rather a compilation of past life experiences (in this case the times you’ve spent and thought about that particular person).

1. You’ll just wind up with a broken heart in the end

Whether you just met the person or you have together with them for 50 years, you’re bound to lose them one way or another. Some will probably have the wish to commit suicide because they can’t bear to exist without that other person. Or at the very least, wishing they never met the other person so that their heart would never have been broken at all.

It’ll even bring up various unwanted angry emotions, and in the heat of disgust, perhaps going so far as to call her “heartless” because of the unreturned feelings.

Everybody knows having a broken heart is not a comfortable thing, are you sure you want to have one? Things like these can take years to get over, even to the extent of your lifetime, as you’ve never experienced anything as bad as this before.

Still Want to Fall in Love?

Even after coming to the reality that all of these things will eventually happen? Sometimes it’s best to reevaluate everything that’s gone on in your life and you’re willing to accept the consequences of love.

Romantic quarrels and mind games are not pretty ones. You’ll be much better off in the long run by avoiding developing feelings for someone close. Just think of all the opportunities you’ll have in your life without thinking about someone else every minute of you’re time.

What to do to Mend A Broken Heart…

If you unfortunately already experienced heartache in some form or another, I think there’s a few things you can do. However, time is the only thing that can truly cure it. You just have to convince yourself to move on, and you truly want to spend your time and energy thinking about something else important in your life.

If you feel you’ve been duped by the game of love, there’s not much you can do initially, except recognize the warning signs, and just remember to be much more cautious the next time you think someone may express a fascination in you and your life.

Instead, put your time and effort into doing something positive for yourself, take a trip, create a website, listen to some melodic, feel-good music, anything to help suppress the pain you feel once you realize she’s not coming to you.

(UPDATE 4/27/08 = What I’ve experienced was wasn’t quite “a relationship”, so I decided I’ll describe my story in more detail below, to truly understand where I’m coming from.)

I met her right at the beginning of my sophomore year in college. Starting with the SECOND day of classes, she sat right next to me (despite there were 20 other open seats she could have chose), for some reason she flirted with me, I have no idea why. Since then we were talking to each other every day and sharing class work. (It was a four-day-per-week college class) She even gave me her email address within the second week.

She told me almost everything about herself, her favorite foods, her family, etc. We met outside of class often, at places such as the library, or cafeteria, etc. She had copied my work a few times, always preferred to work with me over other classmates for some reason. She sat next to me virtually EVERY day of the semester. This was the first girl who ever really paid much attention to me, or *seemed* interested in me.

I had asked her out a few times, but she always had an excuse, like having to work. As this happened, I thought she may have been playing hard to get or something, I wasn’t sure. She even asked me out once, but it was right before I had an exam, so I think she may have been joking around about it.

After about two months or so into the semester is when it hit me, I asked her directly about who this one guy was, and it turned out to be her boyfriend. She mentioned his name once or twice, but NEVER mentioned that she was in a relationship with him, until I specifically asked her about him. Despite the fact that I was devastated upon hearing she was already with someone else, I didn’t really try to let it show, or bother me. I knew that this was the moment when I should have tried to stop liking her, but for some reason I couldn’t. At that time, I foolishly believed I could remain “just friends” with her, and supress this now dead chance of romance, in spite of everything that happened between us, in my eyes.

Two weeks or so later, I poured my heart out to her, trying to explain everything that happened from my perspective, and I was direct with her about my feelings, but she wanted to pretend like I never told her anything. I probably shouldn’t have, as I respected the fact that she was in a relationship with someone else, but it was eating me up inside.

Spring semester then rolled around, and we didn’t really see much of each other as often, a few times here and there. We still enrolled in the same class, but it was scheduled at different times of the day. Whenever we did see each other she either asked me for answers to the test (My class was a few hours before hers.), or just a few things in general, like what to expect in class that day, etc. Then about half way into spring semester, I told her I had to end all contact with her, I told her I tried remaining just friends with her, but it wasn’t working out very well for me, as I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

We didn’t talk or see each other for about two months. Then, a few weeks before finals, she approached me in the library (it seemed random to me at the time), wanting to talk to me (I don’t know why), it took me completely by surprise. It was basically a, “how’ve you been?” conversation, even though I told her I had feelings for her and I she was always on my mind.

A few days after that meeting, I emailed her, telling her things couldn’t go back to normal, so I asked her if she had feelings for me (How was I suppose to know if she was still with him or not). She insulted me and told me she never wanted to hear from me again, so I wrote her a “final good-bye” email (I was angry at the time I wrote it, even though it was brief, I had a few nasty words.) She seemed shocked that I said those things, and believed she did nothing wrong (honestly, I was surprised she responded at all), and that I could say things like that; she even mentioned that we “barely knew each other”, which I thought was a pretty big lie, considering what happened. We then reconciled and cleared the air about everything, and she apologized for whatever pain she caused me (although she was unaware of what exactly it was, even though I thought it was obvious). And finally we agreed we would just end all contact with each other once and for all, it would be for the best, and she even told me she got married to her boyfriend (*Now* she tells me). It was at that time when I realized just how serious they were, and just how crushed I felt.

From that moment on, we haven’t seen or heard from each other to this day.

Sometimes I wish that I dropped the class before I grew as attached as I had. Or maybe even taking it one step further and wishing that I never met her at all.

At times, I still feel tormented about everything, despite the fact that it was over a year ago when we stopped speaking. I had never been that close to a woman before, so if you can imagine how shy and reclusive I was before, just imagine how much more it became after those events took place.

I don’t believe I’ll EVER want to make those same mistakes again. How some people can deal with pain like this everyday remains a mystery to me.

Our alphabet definitely needs work. Take the ‘F’ sound for example. It can be created by the letter ‘F’ and the letters ‘Ph’. Talk about inconsistency. Seriously, why not just call it Telefone, instead of telephone? And to confuse English speaking Newbies even more, we have letters that make more than one sound. Take the letter ‘C’ for example, is this letter really necessary? I mean we already have the letters ‘S’ and ‘K’, so what’s the point behind ‘C’s’ existence?

And how about those different accents and dialects? How many of those do we have in *just* the United States alone? I’ll bet that there must be hundreds. While it may be true that some people use them for cultural reasons, isn’t it at all possible to restructure everyone’s accents or dialects and just cut out the fluff?

One more thing I can’t stand is just how many words we have for the same things. We don’t really need to be calling it the water fountain, drinking fountain, AND the bubbler. Synonyms are one of the biggest screw-ups of the English Language, IMO. I can see now why taking a few courses to learn English must be one of the hardest tasks for non-Native speakers.

Some of you may say, but our historical and geographical distributions cause everyone to speak and correspond with each other differently. Then I’ll remind everyone that we live in the information age, and with tools like wireless communications and the internet, I don’t see how it could be very hard to do something about it.

The English language speakers still don’t seem smart enough to create a well-known, easy to learn phonologic communication system. Some major English revisions are overdue in my opinion, as consistency is the key to a great language.

Lets Examine the Evidence:

• There have been many sightings of large dinosaur-like monsters throughout history.

• Stories about modern dragons can be traced to as recent as modern-day Great Britain. Not to mention the various stories that have been told near Scottish Highlands, some even have evidence of their encounter:

• The Bible claims the Earth is only 6,000 years old or so (with the Book of Genesis). Yet we still find dinosaur bones lying buried in various fossil digging sites all around the world, such as the Badlands in Montana and the Flaming Cliffs in Mongolia, being two of the larger ones.

• On a side-note, there have also been many Japanese sightings of a very large, amphibious monster, devastating Tokyo and nearby communities. Here is the photograph to prove it:

(OK, maybe not so much that last point.) But still, mounds of evidence support the claim that Dinosaurs DO STILL EXIST and probably walk among us this very day.

For example, look at this guy:

He’s Joesph Marcell, you may recognize him as the Butler, Geoffrey from the Fresh Prince. Some people think he’s Africa-American, and those people are idiots. Firstly, he was born in the Caribbean, and second, he’s a citizen of the United Kingdom.

I think people really need to loosen up when it comes to “Race classification”, or whatever you want to call it. Who cares if someone is considered Caucasian, African-American, Asian-American, etc.? It’s the persons themselves that matter, not where they’re from, or what they look like.

People who are easily offended by racial stereotypes have much bigger issues they should deal with rather than bitching all the time about someone classifying them by the color of their skin.